Oh, darling.

Tumblr challenge. Because I’ve got nothing better to do.

Day 01 - A recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself

Day 02 - The meaning behind your Tumblr name

Day 03 - A picture of you and your friends

Day 04 - A habit that you wish you didnt have

Day 05 - A picture of somewhere you’ve been to

Day 06 - Favourite super hero and why

Day 07 - A picture of someone/something that is the biggest impact on you

Day 08 - Short term goals for this month and why

Day 09 - Something you’re proud of in the past few days

Day 10 - Songs you listen to when you are Happy, Sad, Bored, Hyped, Mad

Day 11 - Another picture of you and your friends

Day 12 - How you found out about tumblr and how you made one

Day 13 - A letter to someone who has hurt you recently

Day 14 - A picture of you and your family

Day 15 - Put your ipod on shuffle: First 10 songs that play

Day 16 - Another picture of yourself

Day 17 - Someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why

Day 18 - Plans/dreams/goals you have

Day 19 - Nicknames you have; why do you have them

Day 20 - Someone you see yourself marrying/being with in the future

Day 21 - A picture of something that makes you happy

Day 22 - What makes you different from everyone else

Day 23 - Something you crave for a lot

Day 24 - A letter to your parents

Day 25 - What I would find in your bag

Day 26 - What you think about your friends

Day 27 - Why are you doing this 30 day challenge?

Day 28 - A picture of you last year and now, how have you changed since then?

Day 29 - In this past month, what have you learned?

Day 30 - Who are you?

Rofl.

K, I know what I did was stupid. Thank you. I do understand this. And a part of me does regret it. But all of you need not be so butthurt. You’ll move on. As if you aren’t all a little attention hungry yourselves sometimes. Let’s get real. What will this mean to you a year from now? Nothing. So buck up, buttercup. What were you really expecting anyway?

So what does this come down to, babydoll?;

It’s the internet. Lower your expectations.

@_@

LOL WELL THAT REALLY FUCKING SUCKS. Good job, Jamee, you technological brainiac. Fuckfuckfuck.

<333!?

YES. YES. YES. SHE’S BACK. SHE’S BACK. SHE’S FUCKING BACK!

I’m so happy. I don’t know why. Things won’t go anywhere, despite my hopes. They won’t go to where they used to be, not even close, even though I’d love to have her in that way again. But she’s back. And she still cares. She’s back and she still cares. She’s. Back. And. She. Still. Cares.

Errr.

I wish I used this more. It makes me feel better.

And deep down, I knew you’d never left.

You left me, but I always knew you would come back someday.

With each day, though, doubt grew and grew, until it flooded my body, coursed through my veins and pumped in my chest.

I was broken until almost nothing, without you.

And you came back to me.

And then everything felt alright, and somewhere within my heart I could feel it.

You’d never really left at all.

10.31.09, until forever. “I love you” doesn’t say enough, Michael.

You still mean everything to me.

Well it wasn’t too long ago. The bright lights and rides were nothing compared to your eyes.  As I caught the sight of your gaze, I couldn’t quite turn back.
I wasn’t expecting it that night.
But when you walked away, I couldn’t beg for you to stay. I had to let you go.
I love you more than you might know.
Every single day, wishing I could say well I miss your face, your gaze, and the way you said my name.
Butterflies at the sight, but I might be daydreaming that you’d come back to me.
And I could never find the words, when our fingers were linked
Our eyes locked tight, the moon shined bright above.
But then you had to leave me here, through the nights and tears, but I’m glad you got to start your new life.

Oh man. :/

I just want the day to be over. The week. The month, the year. I really don’t know how much longer I can do this. How much longer I can hold on. Why is life constantly testing our strength? Is there ever any breaks, is anything ever easy anymore? I miss kindergarden. The world was so simple. Everything was so big, and you were so small in a giant colorful world that had so much to offer you. Nobody cared what you did. If you shared your dolls with them, you were best friend worthy. You were so naive. Everything seemed so perfect. I wish the only thing I still had to worry about was coloring in the lines. Now I can’t leave the house without a fucking trainwreck following in my path. I used to be so confident. I never let anything bring me down, despite the hell around me. What happened? Have I finally reached my breaking point?

Somebody once said that the pain will go away. But I don’t know if I believe that anymore.

R.I.P., Bonnie Alexandra Johnson; February 10th, 1950 - May 18th, 2010. I love you.

<3